Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati – Chuck Zukowski UFO/Paranormal Investigations : Chuck Zukowski UFO/Paranormal Investigations


“Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati” sounds like something Harry Potter would say while waving his wand, but actually it’s a pseduo-Latin phrase for, “When all else fails, play dead”. If you’re a fan of an old PBS show called, “The Red Green Show” (1991-2006) then you’re familiar with the phrase. Also, if you happen to be a fan of Brown/Grizzly Bears, then the National Parks Service recommends you remember this phrase if you’re ever attacked by a bear while hiking.

What about if you see a Bigfoot? Freeze, run, or play dead? How about a spirit? Or an Alien? What should you do?

Disclaimer: The following are suggestions based on my experience and what I would do or have done in the past when confronting the unusual. This website voids all responsibilities if you get eaten by a Bigfoot, possessed by an evil spirit, or abducted by an Alien. So there.


In the past I’ve been able to communicate with spirits while running investigations. Not all the time because every investigation is usually a hit or miss. The majority of evidence on “ghost hunting” TV shows are either faked or mis-identified, but sometimes while running EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) sessions, you do pick up some responses.

If you plan on doing any type of ghost investigation, remember every structure like a house, makes noises due to settling or barometer changes. Creeks and squeaking sounds are normal, you just hear them more when completely quiet while running EVP sessions. Also, one thing that absolutely gets me mad and I won’t tolerate is, when TV show ghost hunters disrespect the dead. Their stupidity and lack of knowledge in science and not fully understanding the equipment they use, can lead them to false assumptions. Case in point:

First, learn how to properly use an EMF meter. EMF meters measure high frequency radiation, and high frequency radiation can cause redness on your skin if you interact with it. If you’re using an EMF meter to look for spirits, then one assumes a spirit is made up of high energy. If high energy comes in contact with your skin, it will leave a red mark. Ever shock someone with your finger? The charge built up in your body discharges and leaves a red mark on their skin. If a spirit touches an investigator, it too will have some energy discharge and will leave an impression on your skin.

They are not attacking you!

In some extreme cases you may come across a negative entity depending on where you’re investigating and who you’re investigating, so you really don’t want to piss that entity off by yelling at them.

Rule of thumb:
If you’re evil in human form, then most likely you’ll be evil in spirit form, so know your investigations and who your investigating. If you get touched and you see a handprint on your back or arm or elsewhere, it could just be a spirit trying to communicate with you. Sure, it may burn a little but guess what? That’s what electro-magnetic fields do! Remember, high frequency radiation? And if that happens, then congratulations, you made contact!

Respect the dead, try and communicate with the tools you have and make it a pleasant experience for you and the spirits. They just may give you the evidence you’re looking for.

One important thing to remember when running a ghost investigation is, a spirit may follow you home. So, keep that in mind if deciding to run your own investigations. You might wind up with an unwanted house guest.


Rule of thumb: If you ever watched the movie, Blazing Saddles, then you’ll be familiar with the following statement, “If you shoot him, you’ll just make him mad”. The Waco Kid (Gene Wilder) was referring to Mongo played by Alex Karras. Well, this is true if you ever encounter a Bigfoot, don’t shoot at him! Matter of fact, stay calm, try not to panic and don’t make any aggressive moves towards him or her.

People who I have worked with who’ve had Bigfoot encounters describe a very dominate yet curious creature (mammal). Remember this mammal is extremely large and so strong it could easily rip your limbs off your torso, so be smart with your next move.

As an investigator, before I do an investigation, I research which Native American tribe frequented that location long ago and how they greeted each other in their native language. I would try greeting in English, then try greeting in a Native American language from that location. Examples:

UTE: (Hello) Maykh
Navajo: (All is good) Yatahey

Even though I’m not really a seasoned Bigfoot investigator, I have done a few investigations. One of my investigations was on the TV show, “Finding Bigfoot”. I’ve tracked a Bigfoot while realizing it was actually tracking me, so be careful. Also be careful of bears in the area and mountain lions who could be tracking you too!

I’ve seen many footprints and trail markers left by the big guy. For me if I confront a Bigfoot, my plan is to try and communicate without making any aggressive moves. Hopefully a camera would be running too but not one that you would point at them, that could be considered an aggressive move. A GoPro recording all through your investigation is an inexpensive way to not only document your investigation but also capture an unexpected footage of a Bigfoot. The GoPro should be attached to your person and not handheld, this way if you see something you just turn your body to that direction. Also, a handheld GoPro could be obvious to a Bigfoot that you have a camera. Bigfoots are pretty intelligent, and they can spot cameras and game cameras. It’s not a tough thing to learn, bears in Yellowstone National Park have learned that an Igloo ice chest could have food in it, and the bears have been known to break into people’s vehicles to get to the chest.

What about first contact with a Bigfoot? I would slowly raise my hand and say “hello” then maybe try the Native American greeting for that area. Then after that we’ll see. In reality my hello would probably sound like, “hhhhello?” Or I may just turn around and run in the opposite direction crying like a toddler, hell I don’t know, but at least I have a game plan.

As a former Deputy Sheriff, I was trained to run scenarios “mental movies” through my mind working out exactly what I would do in certain situations. One situation would be if I had to draw my weapon and point it at a human. All my scenarios always included staying calm and not doing anything stupid or rash. When I actually had to draw my weapon and point it at another human, I was a bit nervous but stayed cool and calm and handled the situation safely, because I was prepared due to mental movies.

You have to do the same with Bigfoot if you’re an investigator. Run scenarios like, what will I do if this happens? What will I do if that happens? You’ll be better prepared in case it you actually come face to face with one. Well, it would be more like, face to chest with a Bigfoot.

Remember, stay calm, think about what you’re going to do next, and don’t make any aggressive moves!


Rule of thumb: You may be screwed!

Sure, I have ideas what I will do if I come face to face with an alien, because as I mentioned previously, I run “mental movies” of different scenarios though my mind hoping I’ll live to talk about my experience. I’ve actually communicated with a UFO back in July of 2016 by accident and that particular communication was really unintentional.

My sister Debbie and I were about 50 miles outside the city of Roswell in New Mexico at night sky watching. I just happened to hit the off road lights on my truck to show my sister that they have a strobe function. Just after my lights flashed, something immediately from the dark night sky responded with three uniformed light flashes. Thus started a quick communication between me and a UFO. Very cool indeed! (For more info on this sighting see the link at the end of this blog.)

I was kinda prepared for that situation due to always running scenarios, so I immediately went into investigation mode to see what I could learn. Well, I learned a lot. The point is, when it comes to Aliens or UFOs, we really have no idea what can happen when confronted by them. There are stories from people who’ve had pleasant experiences, and we call those people, “Experiencers”. Then there’s those people who didn’t have pleasant experiences, and we call those people, “Abductees”. It literally can be the same scenario with both people but depending on your religious beliefs, paranormal beliefs, or how you were brought up, you may come out with positive or negative feelings. Me? I hope positive.

My gameplan is to always try to communicate, hell they’re already there, who knows why and what’s going to happen next, so I won’t waste my time being in a panic mode, I will “try” to keep my composure, I will “try” to be professional and who knows, maybe I’ll “try” to survive the encounter.

Also be careful of what you read on the Internet, there’s a lot of info out there about Aliens, most of it is opinionated. Until we know for sure, don’t bet your life on it. In other words, don’t go looking for those guys thinking they’ll take you away. That only happens in the Styx song, “Come Sail Away”. And don’t think for a moment those guys are here to save humanity, I’ve investigated a lot of negative encounters, and heard of some people who disappeared. So, they have their own agenda, and it looks like we’re part of it. Oh sure, there are people out there who will make claims they’re here for us, they’re benevolent, and maybe that could be true, but it’s funny every one of those people who make those extraordinary claims don’t have the extraordinary evidence to back it up.

Bottom line? If you have an Alien encounter, hope for the best.

So, dealing with the Paranormal like Spirits, Bigfoot or Aliens, you must not only be physically prepared to deal with any situation, but mentally prepared too! And try using the “mental movies” idea by running different scenarios before your investigation, no matter what type of investigation it may be. It will help you better prepare yourself for the unexpected.

Remember, you’re dealing with the Paranormal, which by definition is, “Beyond the scope of normal scientific understanding”. So, prepare yourself and, “When all else fails, play dead”.

Roswell Light Communication July 3rd, 2016:

Tags: Aliens, Bigfoot, Chuck Zukowski, ghosts, The Red Green Show, ufonut.com

Category: The Z-Files

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